I turned thirty yesterday. I didn’t know what to expect of my mind at such a stage – I mean, I have seen people freaking out entering this particular decade in their lives. I knew birthdays are always fun filled affairs, so I wasn’t too worried about the day of the birthday itself but I was intrigued how the next day will turn out. I deliberately let the next day pass on because I wanted the temporary emotions to calm down before I could evaluate how I am feeling about life ahead.
Grades don’t measure intelligence and age doesn’t define maturity
The day has gone by, the phone calls have stopped, whoever cared to wish me has wished me and everyone has moved on. The special day is gone and now I can be unbiased about how I am feeling. I am calm – neither too excited nor subdued. I think if I have to summarize it, I just am ‘thankful’. By the time you turn thirty, you have seen the real face of life – you have seen the struggles that you did not know existed a decade back. The youth, flings and relationships that you looked forward to, then, arrived and happened – all the excitement of ‘first’ everything has been experienced. But what now you have at thirty shall stay with you forever. You are not dazzled easily and you can see beyond the glitter and glamour. How you perceive it and how you make it pave rest of your life is up to you.
At least, I have seen more than a fair share of struggles. Despite the thousand substantial things I can think of complaining about, the first thing that I wanted to say when I stood in front of God today was that I thank you for what I still have in my life. I could be less fortunate.
I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
I think I am fairly happy being thirty – I don’t have to pretend I like Dan Brown anymore, I understand the flaws in Fountainhead, I enjoy watching news debates late night, I love reading spiritual and philosophical books, I don’t care about a stupid job, I don’t feel obligated to make everyone happy, I know what matters and what doesn’t, I don’t mind accepting my mistakes and I’m ok with not apologizing for something that I think is not my fault, I don’t mind saying I don’t know, I don’t mind saying I failed, I love being independent, I take responsibility for my tough decisions, I don’t feel impetuous, I look forward to personal fulfillment and happiness.
Yes, life could be much better and happier – and I am glad that it’s not already perfect for what will I have to look forward to then? I’m thirty and I think it’s great.