I am a compulsive reader and thinker. I read a ton of books and articles. Self-help is a genre I have been bumping into fairly frequently over last four years. I noticed that all those articles mention how the authors had a terrible life long time ago and now they are all zen. (What’s up with that shapely girl doing yoga on a mountaintop?! ) Yes, some of those articles and books are written so well that you feel like pumping your fist in the air – “Yes, I can do it too!” But after a while, it gets annoying.
Has everyone figured their life out already? Is everyone out there so normal and happy now? Why doesn’t anyone write about the fuck-ups they are making or the struggles they are facing right now?
Then, I looked at my own writings and I figured that I am guilty of the same. I also talk about past hiccups, what I have learned from those and how I am applying it now. So far so good but there is a lot that I don’t talk about – I don’t talk that it is always not hunky dory. There are a lot of moments when I feel confused. Moments when I feel very very down. Till this date.
Notice that I am not even talking about facebook and the posts by your friends that make you think – ‘Yeah sure, that is all you do in life – visiting Bali and eating organic food!’ Sigh, that is what I posted but anyway, you get the point! Has going to Bali made me the zen queen? Haha, far from it.
I fuck things up all the time. I do question what I am doing fairly often.
So, I talked to friends and asked them if they go through the same and guess what – 100% of them go through the same up and downs. They are not feeling like their facebook profile picture all the time. I knew it! And I have interviewed successful entrepreneurs (for another book) and almost everyone told me about their fuck-ups (which makes me wonder if this is what they are ready to confess, then what is the one they are not even telling me about!). These are people revered for their business execution and intelligence and they fucked up many things. Of course, those fuck-ups don’t get posted on the facebook.
And I can bet that all the inspiring people, those self-help authors go through these swings as well. Just like our life is comprised of bigger ups and downs (a sine wave instead of a straight line), if we zoom into a specific period, that is also comprised of smaller ups and downs – such that even within a minute, our emotions are constantly fluctuating. Don’t worry, that is all the math for now.
Fuck-ups are a part of life and, I think, very real ones. Everyone has their share of fuck-ups. Ok, maybe not Dalai Lama. While it would be very good for the world if we all lessened our frequency of fuck-ups (I mean electing Trump is more than fuck-up – it is a crime, so don’t get me started on that), let us not go into depression over those fuck-ups. Did you date with a poor sense of judgment? Alright. Did you take up a horrible job? Haha. Did you eat so many candies you need to go to the ER? Jeez. Did you take a gym’s annual membership and never went there? Lazy ass. But then, so what? Get over it! Be mentally ready for the next fuck-up.
While I am all supportive of fuck-ups, the problem happens when they get all cascading. Like one fuck-up leading to another, making you feel so shitty, you do another fuck-up. Let us not do that, ok? Let us keep it reasonable – how about one career fuck-up a year, a relationship fuck-up in 3 years, a Trump fuck-up in a lifetime? If you are doing more, then I have bad news for you – you might have problems. And if any fuck-up makes you feel depressive or suicidal, then quit listening to me and go visit a therapist! Right now.
Feeling down today? Great! The wait for next feeling-up day is half done. You know nothing can last forever – neither your ice cream nor your heartbreak. Either you will run out of money or one day you will pick your lazy ass to the gym. You will be alright. We will all be alright.
So, yes, I am doing my share of fuck-ups and I sincerely hope you are doing yours. Don’t disappoint me. Love.